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 Lorender

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Like a cantaloupe melon, picking the right person to eat can be a challenge unless you know what you are doing. Here are a few helpful hints in selecting the right one to eat.              

Age – Just like other game meat, humans get tough and stringy with age. Anyone 3 - 16 years old taste great, their well shaped legs are great for tender, succulent meals. Girls do taste better than boys.

Size – Like a good marbled beef, you want your human to have a bit of fat on them and to be of a large weight and size. While a very thin woman may be found attractive, the fact is that what little meat they have is stringy and tough. Very heavy humans tend to be more tender and juicy, so they should be fattened if you desire extra flavor. The meat found on bodybuilders and strongmen are tough ans flavorless due to the lack of fat. The perfect cut of human flesh comes from the average Australian couch potato Due to that fact that with any other meat, flavor come from the fat. However, be careful that you do not become an Australian yourself from too much fat intake.


Sex – As in monkey sex, sex doesn't really matter. Although, females do tend to taste better, and males tend to have more muscle (that means more ballfat) on them.[/size]

Nationality – Actual race and color have very little to do with the taste of humans. All races are pink and fleshy underneath the skin. Some believe that brown skinned people contain more omega-3 and calcium, but that is just a myth (however you are welcome to test this for yourself). However one thing that does make a difference is diet. Humans who are strictly vegetarian tend to taste a bit more beefy than those that primarily eat meat. Other considerations are salt and spice intake. Italians, for example, tend to have a mild, natural garlic taste while people from India tend to be a bit on the spicy side. Also another tip is to cook the anus with salt and garlic at 450 degrees (rare to well done is up to you). The healthiest part of the human body is the lymph nodes and also, the urethra. But if undercooked they will taste sour and tangy. If you follow these instructions then you will have a wonderful healthy meal.

It is important to cook your human thoroughly, as they tend to be filled with a wide array of viruses and bacteria, especially swine flu. Human flesh should not be consumed unless it has been cooked to an internal temperature of at least 160°F. With that in mind, you can pretty much substitute human in any of your existing beef or pork recipes, but, since human meat has a genetic resemblance to pork, it is more common to use in pork recipes. Slow cooking tends to be the best way to bring out all of the natural flavors while optimizing the texture of the meat. As with all meats, you never want to over-cook your human. A general rule of thumb for oven roasting your human is 15-20 minutes per pound, but cooking times vary according to the recipe you are using
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